we [ant]eloped

April 20, 2016

SCROLL DOWN

we [ant]eloped

April 20, 2016

How it went down

How it went down was this.

Granted, it was an extreme measure to avoid having to choose a centrepiece we could agree on.

But so far it seems to be working out. A whole five years and we are still going pretty strong.

On April 20 (yes: 4/20...), we got hitched, at the Twin Pans (which sounds better than “a random swamp”), a few kilometers outside camp in the Selinda Spillway, Northern Botswana.

It was an intimate and truly wonderful affair, attended by a couple of dozen locals and safari camp staff, a handful of fellow safari guests... and about twenty noisy African hippos as witnesses. For real.

How it all went down is as follows. We had planned a trip to South Africa several months ago because, well, because. And then we decided to get married because, well, because. And then we thought it would be fun to get married out there because, well...

As part of the trip, we had also planned a safari and decided on Botswana. We asked our travel agent to see if we could by any chance get married at one of the three camps we had booked. Word came back from the last camp on our itinerary: yes, leave it to us. And so we did.

And that was the sum total of our wedding planning. We did not know the date of our nuptials until the day before we were betrothed to one another.

After three weeks of travel, we arrived at the wonderful Selinda Explorers safari camp in Northern Botswana. At our arrival briefing, the camp manager casually mentioned that we were to be married the next day (to each other; not to him. I think). We were to show up in our wedding duds at the main tent at 3:30 pm the next day, and that was it. We would be apprised of what to do as required and on a strictly need-to-know-basis.

At the appointed hour, on 4/20, we arrived at the main tent, Lisa looking impossibly resplendent in the wedding dress that she had carried with her across one ocean and two continents. We were also given and asked to wear the essential elements of Tswana wedding attire: a checkered shawl for Lisa, and a hat and walking stick for Max.

We were then separated into two behemoth Toyota Land Cruisers – Max with the men and Lisa with the women.

About 30 minutes’ drive outside camp, our wedding site came into view: the shore of a small pan (a depression in the ground that retains water part of the year), where the aforementioned twenty or so hippos were having their afternoon bath... (The following day we returned to the scene of the crime and saw two bull elephants, a large African crocodile and a troop of vervet monkeys).

The staff had set up a large open tent, splendidly decorated with beautiful, ornate Moroccan rugs, pillows and hammered brasswear. We were each greeted by the most beautiful and joyous sounds of a traditional Motswana[1] choir, and then brought together into the open tent, where we were serenaded by more traditional music and dance. Yes, Max cried. Max always cries at these things.

We were then separated again, each into a kgotla (public assembly) of men and women who each in turn shared their insights and wisdom into the makings of a long and happy marriage, which we were to receive without comment, while seated in a circle on the ground. The advice was wise, charming, heartfelt and wonderful... We are, however, each sworn to secrecy (even as between each other) as to its content.

In Motswana tradition, these individuals are to also serve as councillors in time of marital crisis. We haven’t had to Skype any of them yet, so...so far, so good.

A charming invitation was circulated locally and, in Motswana tradition, we were joined by a few locals eager to share in our nuptials/have some free drinks...

Further amazing traditional song and dance ensued, and a brief ceremony performed by a priest from the Church of Zion (!) -- all noisily punctuated by the sounds of loud hippos in the background, splashing, snorting, and chasing each other in and out of the swamp (I mean “pan”). More incredible song, more beautiful dances, from three separate choirs, a few words of thanks from us, followed by champagne and a delicious cake prepared by the amazing camp chef.

It being a safari, there were multiple cameras on hand, including a photographer from National Geographic.

We took in the last of the hippo shenanigans and a beautiful African sunset, before returning to camp. We sat around the campfire with the camp staff and other guests, before being lead to a beautifully set table next to our tent under two trees, between which was strung a candle-lit chandelier, for a wonderful dinner à deux.

In short, we really could not have not-planned a more wonderful and beautiful wedding. Our only regret is that you all could not be there with us. But the hippos made for pretty good stand-ins under the circumstances.

We will plan a party or two at which we can properly celebrate with all of you. The hippos will not be invited. Stay tuned!

[1] “Botswana” is the name for the country, “Batswana” are the people of the country, “Motswana” is a person, and “Setswana” is the language.